It sounds simple, but if you remember this when you’re in the real world talking to a real woman, you’ll loosen up, and start genuinely try to get to know her, and she’ll FEEL that. If she feels like you are actually interested in her, she’ll become MUCH more interested in YOU. I’ve got a few great tips for you to use next time you talk to a nice looking girl.
1. Notice what she gives you.
Here’s what I mean. If, during the conversation, she mentions that she went bowling last week with her best friend, then you should ASK her about it. She’s giving you a way to ask her about her personal interests, and she’s hoping you’ll pick up on that, and run with it. Remember, take what she gives you, and use it as an entry way into a deeper conversation about personal interests, instead of being stuck in endless small talk (which she doesn’t want either).
2. Ask her direct questions about her personal interests.
Don’t make the mistake of spending too much time talking about “surface level” stuff, like the weather, or the other people in the place, or the band that’s playing. That kind of conversation is only interesting for the first couple minutes, because she’s waiting for you to take it to the next level. Don’t be afraid to just go ahead and ask her about herself. I know this sounds like common sense, but do you DO it in real life? If you see that she’s wearing an interesting necklace, ask her about it. If you saw her playing pool before, ask her who taught her how to play. The point is… you want to talk about personal stuff, not surface level crap. Start with small talk, but move out of it after a few minutes, or she’ll get bored of the conversation.
3. Don’t ask for a date. OFFER a date instead.
You’re not a child who has to ask permission anymore. If you want to take a woman out, just let her know that you’re interested in make an offer to spend time together at some place interesting. Lots of people make offers to you every day. Some you accept, some you don’t. Here’s an every day example: When you go through the drive thru at a fast food place, and you order a sandwich, what do you almost ALWAYS hear? Usually you’ll hear something like, “You can upgrade that to a combo meail for only a dollar more. Would you like to do that today?” It’s kind of the same thing with talking to women.
She’s already ordered the sandwich by having a nice conversation with you right now. You can simply let her know that you enjoy her company, and you’d like to offer her a chance to continue getting to know each other. If she says no, it doesn’t have anything to do with you as a person. It’s just not something she’s interested in, just like you’re not interested in buying the combo meal sometimes. Here’s why I bring this up. Those fast food places that offer the combos with each order have dramatically increased their total sales volume by juat making that simple offer.
You could do the same thing with your love life!
You could dramatically increase the amount of women you date just by offering each one that you’re interested in a chance to get to know you even better. If one says no… who cares? The next 2 will say yes. But ALWAYS make the offer.
The 14 year old kid at the drive thru isn’t afraid of you saying “No thanks, and you shouldn’t be afraid of some woman saying the same thing.
Remember, talking to women is not a sporting competition that you either win or lose. She’s a real person who’s giving you an opportunity to get to know her. She won’t always make it so easy for you, but just keep trying. Focusing on “getting a result” from the interaction is a huge mistake. It makes her feel like you see her as a “task” that needs to be completed instead of a person.
Do your best to get to know her, and forget about getting phone numbers and emails. When you become genuinely interested in the women you talk to, the phone numbers and emails will pile up faster than you can count them!
